13 & 14 weeks

hi second trimester. you haven't been much different than the first. all the same symptoms, and still you lead me to lean over the toilet every morning. if anything, you taught me that throwing up every day for two months does some damage to one's esophagus, and that evening i puked up a little blood and couldn't eat the rest of the day because my throat felt like it was on fire -- that was by far more unpleasant than any day first trimester handed to me. so thanks.

i am so ready for this to be over. i look forward to the end of the day, because it means i can stop eating every two hours, yet i dread the end of the day, because it means a new day is coming, which means another day i have to begin by throwing up. so. sick. of. it.

during the day, generally i feel okay (except for yesterday... yesterday sucked ass. in contrast, today i had tons of energy and hardly any nausea -- after my morning puking ritual, anyway). i still have all the same symptoms, but i can't tell if i'm any less emotional. i'm on a gilmore girls marathon and am currently going through the whole luke/lorelei/christopher fiasco in the last season, and i've been crying a lot. i didn't cry the first time i saw the last season, not until the last episode anyway. i didn't cry the second time i saw the last season, either. but for some reason, this time, everything is making me cry. the very fact that gilmore girls no longer exists is making me cry, and the fact that i am nearing the last episode and am left with a cliffhanger like the rest of the gilmore girls fans is making me cry. but this blog isn't about gilmore girls. i guess my point is, i'm probably still really emotional. i swear, other than that, i'm peachy!

i finally met with my beautiful midwife last week. everything is dandy. i wasn't even dehydrated! score.

heartburn is kicking my ass.

i think i might be feeling some fluttering. with river, i never felt fluttering. just one night, a full on POW at sixteen weeks, hey mom, i'm here. there was no doubt about baby movement. the second time i felt him move was two days later, and i actually saw it, too. from that day on, i felt him every single day. he was a kicker, not a flutterer. and i know it's super early and it's probably just gas, but i swear, i'm lying there feeling nothing, and then all of a sudden -- the faintest of flutters. so who knows. i'm skeptical. but then again, i don't know what flutters feel like, only pows. that's my boy.

edit: i say early, but i was only a week further along when i started feeling river move!