5 weeks

it's official. we took the test this morning and it came back positive! my emotions are similar to when i found out i was pregnant with river. my thoughts with river were that i still felt like a kid, like i wasn't old enough to be a mother. yet, being a mother is what my dream has been since i was tiny, so it felt natural and perfect. this time around, i feel too young to have two kids. i mean, river's my buddy. he's my baby, my precious boy, and i can't imagine having another one. i can't imagine loving two -- i mean, i know i will. but at this point, it almost feels like this little one is invading my relationship with my first born. i am very excited, a little worried about the future, however i know most of my worries are because of what other people will think. when i subtract those from my thoughts, then there are no regrets. i'm ready to be a mama of two.

as far as symptoms, there are none besides my nipples being a little sensitive when river nurses. not a hint of morning sickness. i am staying optimistic. i am meeting with my midwife possibly on monday -- i can't wait! she is one of the sweetest, most amazing women i've ever met and i am so lucky to have her in my life. we joked around that the only reason i got pregnant was to hang out with her again. 

i am going to grow this baby healthy. i have gone cold-turkey on coffee and junk (for the most part). i will start taking iron now so that i don't become anemic, and i will make sure to eat good, fresh foods. i am going to start a food diary now so that i can really keep up with what i'm putting in my body. one thing i know i will have to work on is getting enough liquids. i was dehydrated and anemic for the majority of my first pregnancy and will not let that happen this time.

one thing i've thought of before, but that hasn't come to mind since i discovered i was pregnant until now, is the event of river being present during the homebirth. i've always loved the idea of my children being present at my homebirths, and maybe this is the chance for that to happen. i may want him out of the room, if he is being clingy and grumpy, but i guess we'll see when we get there.